GRIEF SUPPORT & BEREAVEMENT ADVICE

At first, you may feel in shock, especially if the death was unexpected. You may feel numb, or have trouble believing that the loss has really happened or even deny the truth. This is your body’s natural defense mechanism.

It will take time to understand what has happened and you may feel a great deal of pain because you have not had the chance to say goodbye.

You may find yourself expecting your loved one to suddenly arrive and hear familiar sounds like their key in the door, or feel their presence in the room. Accept these things as part of the process of grieving, which will eventually lead you through this difficult time.

Some people are affected physically by the death of their loved one. Some people can’t sit still and become hyperactive. Others have headaches, shortness of breath, chest pains, dizziness, lack of concentration or depression. Some find it difficult to sleep and some experience bad dreams.

Grieving can be exhausting both emotionally and physically, so it’s important to try and maintain a healthy lifestyle, by eating a balanced diet, exercising a little and getting enough sleep.

You should speak to your doctor if your symptoms persist over a period of time.

For many people, the pain of losing someone may make them feel the need to withdraw from social contact, feeling unable to face the outside world. You may feel like this, but grieving is difficult enough without having to do it all on your own. Now is the time to lean on the support of those that care about you most.

The most important healing can come from talking. It may help to go over what happened many times. Talking about your feelings may also help.

If talking to those close to you is too uncomfortable, you might consider joining a support group. A professional counsellor or people like the Samaritans will also have the time and understanding to talk to you. You will never get over it, but in time you will come to terms with that has happened.

Allow yourself time to grieve and adjust to your new situation. It’s not advisable to rush into making major decisions or change in your life when you are grieving, always try to take time before making decisions such as moving to a new house.

Try to recognise the danger signs of becoming too dependent on painkillers or alcohol to numb the pain. You may find keeping a diary or writing down your thoughts helpful, you never need to show your writing to anyone. If you think you may have a problem with substances, seek medical advice.